The first year of my 30s is almost over. And what have I accomplished in my first year? Not a whole lot. I'm currently perched on my couch, in my bath robe with a cat on my lap, watching a shitty rom-com on Stan. Yes, I added another subscription to another streaming site. Because more tv is adding to my ever so sad existence and experience in life. Living exactly the opposite of those motivational posters.
A whole year has gone by since the big 3-0 and I'm a typical cliché of an unemployed, unmotivated, has-been, that's having a mid mid-life crisis. *Stuffs face with chips and wipes hand on shirt that looks like it hasn't bee washed in weeks*
The plan was to start a new and better chapter in my life. A fresh beginning. A wonderful array of possibilities and adventures.
However, I haven't had the "aha!" moment where I know exactly how and what I have to do to get my journey started.
Instead, the looming doom hangs over my head like the regret of that one time you said that thing 5 years ago at a party as a joke and no one laughed, just hanging there reminding you of how pathetic you are and how you're a joke for pinning those motivational quotes on Pinterest.
Then there's that looming realisation that you may actually not find it and the little money you have will run out and you'll be back in another shitty job wishing for your life to change.
You're not young any more, you're not dead, but you're no spring chicken with no baggage from 11 years life experience. You're in your 30s. The last decade you can really make a huge change in your life without it actually being a potential death wish.
BUT! (It's a big but for a reason) I'm optimistic. I'm optimistic (blindly optimistic) I can somehow create a new job, a new life and a new me... somehow... hopefully.
I'm holding on to hope that the luck from my 20s finds me in my 30s and guides me in the right direction... soon... very soon, please.
So for now, I continue to jump from one idea to the next as if it's going to be the life changing moment I need.
I'll continue to be inspired and continue to try and grow as a person into the person that I desperately so want to become. One day, this blog will have more of a purpose and direction rather than some place I come to occasionally post nonsense and pretty illustrations that have been 'inspired' from someone else.
Until then, I will be my usual multipotentialite self and jump from one idea to the next until they all become one big journey into the impending, sometimes terrifying, unknown hopeful future of a better, more successful, happier, calmer, richer me.
For those of you wondering:
Multipotentialite definition found here
